Ironing Out the Wrinkles : Episode Reflections
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
It's well reported that negative attitudes towards aging cause people to react more negatively towards daily stresses while having positive views towards aging is associated with better life satisfaction, self-related health, and social networks. But how much control do we have when the ‘older-hood’ keeps throwing challenges our way? The answer is ‘mindset’, and this month on Ironing Out the Wrinkles podcast we’re looking at it with two guests who all agree, that with some tweaking of the way you view the challenge of getting older, life can turn from upside down, to right-side up, even under the most dire of circumstances.
You see, there’s one thing we can be certain of as we age, and that is change. Change of relationship status, job, health, friendships, and so on. These turning points are what our guest, Dr. Ann Moir-Bussy, refers to as ‘transitions’. They’re events that give your life value and meaning. But for many, when change happens, events that throw us into transition, we often get stuck. So how do we get unstuck?
Dr. Ann says it begins with being still, going within, and discovering who we truly are. Instead of viewing ‘aging’ transitions as a loss of some kind, we can see them as an opportunity to reassess what’s important to us, let go of the need to fulfill others' expectations, and finally, find our own passion and purpose…. without the limiting beliefs we’ve lived by until now.
For our guest, Terry Tucker, a cancer warrior and motivational speaker, the difference between suffering and not suffering comes down to your understanding that you have ‘choice’. He tells us the story of war vets who were able to survive capture and torture because they held a particular mindset. Survival wasn't a luxury awarded the optimists, who proclaimed, ‘Hey, we're going to be released by Christmas or Easter’. Because Christmas and Easter came, and they weren't released, and so they died of a broken heart. Apparently, the people who survived understood what they could control, and controlled it.
In everyday moments, big and small, what we all have control over is our breathing, and our thoughts. Hard to believe it’s that simple isn’t it? War veterans aside, Terry himself was diagnosed with rare cancer in 2018, leading to his foot being amputated, followed by his leg two years later. He’s dying to be sure. We all are. But he’s choosing what he puts into every moment of every day that he’s alive. That’s where he has the power of control.
A good place to start is a mindset of compassion for yourself as you get older. Life’s going to change, but that doesn't mean you're limited, it just means it's different. It’s about being able to adapt to changes and not identify so tightly with who you once were.
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If you have suffered severe mental, physical, emotional abuse as an adult or a child, you will be well advised to seek the assistance of a professional psychologist to help deal with the effects of abuse. This website, blogs & podcasts, and the counselling offered by me are offered under the assumption that you have already begun your healing journey, and are now ready to move more fully into taking responsibility for yourself. Ready to begin developing self-worth, self-love, and are interested in finding the gifts in the adversity you have faced.
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